“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine”
(Song of Solomon 1:2)
The most frequently-asked question among young people, when it comes to finding God’s will, could be “Who’s my life partner?” Once found, the two “lovebirds” need to diligently learn and master the art of becoming one after they say “I do.” How do you build a love relationship that would last forever? It’s true that romance makes a marriage beautiful, but we have to admit it that it takes more than just that to barely survive the daily bumps and storms, much more to make a holy matrimony last a lifetime!
With his God-given wisdom, Solomon wrote a diary about committed love in Song of Solomon. It’s not by coincidence that the book’s grand opening is his own “wedding kiss” (see the verse above) on his wedding day. This shows the sacredness of marriage, initiated by a wedding vow between a man and his wife legally bound before God and men. Anything sacred, always, calls for commitment!
For love to age together, there must be a serious commitment to serve and please each other. Here are some ways to do it:
1. Know your spouse’s insecurities!
Song of Solomon 1: 6 voices Solomon’s spouse’s view of her own imperfection:
“Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun. My mother’s sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyards I had to neglect.”
Look at how Solomon, her husband, accepts her for who she is—by overlooking her weakness and acknowledging her strengths in Song of Solomon 1 : 9 -10:
“I liken you, my darling, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariot horses. Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels.”
This Shunemite girl—a working girl who doesn’t come from a wealthy family—is rather sensitive of her dark complexion. Pay notice how Solomon not only does not mention what she deems as an embarrassment; instead, he praises her for the other traits that she possesses which could make her proud. Solomon actually attempts to help her build her self-confidence. What a loving husband!
2. Assure your spouse that he/she is the one and only!
“My beloved is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies.” (Song of Solomon 2:16)
A marital calling really is quite simple: to stay faithful to one spouse till “deaths do us part!” Words, alone, are never enough. We need to prove again and again that we are absolutely truthful and faithful without any hints and gestures suggesting otherwise. Take every opportunity to whisper in his/her ear that a “third person” between you two isn’t possible. Remember, in order for a marriage to be happy, avoid the number “three!” Believe me, two is enough, three is a crowd.
3. Shower your spouse with love and compliments!
“How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant.” (Song of Solomon 1:15-16)
The verses above demonstrate how a husband showers his wife with compliments. In return, he reaps compliments from her! Don’t be rigid nor demanding in your marriage. Always be the first to give praise and to show love. That way, greater are your chances to reap happiness in the end.
Husband of Irene,