There is no perfect family in this world. Yet, to be happy, we have to avoid two (2) poisons that destroy and pursue three (3) things that can perfect our family.
First Poison: Sexual Immorality
Colossions 3:5-7 (NIV) “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.”
For the sake of the happiness and the integrity of the family, we must not live selfishly such as committing hidden sins. God's love is free, but there is a price to pay for living in His plan. For that, we must pay the price to live righteously and stay away from this poison. The first is sexual immorality. Sexual immorality is not only about adultery or having an affair, but also masturbation, pornography, and all forms of compromise. There will be a broken relationship, both with God and with family to those who commit sexual immorality.
Our bodies do not belong to us, but our bodies are His Temple. Offer it as a true offering, a living offering and pleasing to God.
Whatever we do to our bodies, which contaminates and causes addiction including smoking, drugs which corrupt our body and soul; it will harm our whole family. When we play with sin, we are risking the whole family. Something is happening in the spiritual realm.
If one person receives salvation in the Lord Jesus, the whole household will be saved. Hence, we are the entrance, either the entrance to God's work or the devil's work. Make your choice!
If we fall into this sin, ask for forgiveness to God, confess our sins, and repent sincerely.
Second Poison: Sin of the Tongue
Colossians 3:8-11 (NIV) “But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.”
The sins of the tongue include angry words, swear, lies, slander, words of discrimination, character-killing, racism, and other words that hurt, can damage the self-image of others, which could muddle the situation. Husband and wife, do not say inappropriate things such as "divorce," "separation," or "regret to be married to you" during an argument. Stop speaking words that grieve the Holy Spirit in our families.
The sin of the tongue can be corrected with the right tongue. Withdrawing words is difficult because people who are hurt won’t forget them easily. However, with the help of the Holy Spirit, God will anoint our words to correct the wrong that has happened, as long as there is genuine repentance. Say positive words, words that restore and build, speak the word of God.
First Perfection: Mercy from God
Colossians 3:12 (NIV) “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Whatever that we do must always be in harmony and be reflected with compassion. Always sow Godly mercy. Maybe we find it hard to love, but remember that this compassion comes from God. Ask God to give us love so we can love others, even those who hate or hurt us. Therefore, have a fellowship with God and read the Word because He is the source of love.
Second Perfection: Forgiveness Every Time
Colossians 3:13-15 (NIV) “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”
Being patient itself is insufficient if we don’t forgive. It’s just holding back, but you will explode later. Be patient and forgive without being too calculative, because there can be no peace without forgiveness or if there is resentment. Forgiveness invites God's patience into our lives. No family is perfect. But when we pardon each other, forgive each other, God will perfect our family. It is like doing an investment in heaven for God to work more in the future, because forgiveness pleases God.
Third Perfection: Deliberate Constructive Words
Colossians 3:16-17 (NIV) “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
Deliberate constructive words make the family perfect. It may be difficult to apologize or to say "I'm sorry" or "I love you," because it may not fit our family tradition which could be old fashioned and inexpressive.
Maybe, the expression of love through words doesn’t fit our personality. However, we need to follow the character of Christ so that we can be a blessing. Do not be fixated according to the world philosophy to "be yourself", but learn to have a better character than ourselves today.
Become God’s “postman” by conveying God’s love through our verbal expressions to our family.
Excerpted from Ps. Philip Mantofa's Sermon, 8 August 2020, Youtube & Instagram Live